Every player’s highlight reel shows the glamorous plays. The sweet goals, the amazing saves, the incredible passes.

What it doesn’t show are the absolute lows. Like the 2 years Gianna Lemieux spent rebuilding a shoulder, her confidence, and her sense of who she was outside the sport.

Two season-ending injuries in as many years would end the mental game for most players, even after the body heals.

Gianna’s essay isn’t really about lacrosse — it’s about what happens in the months you can’t play, and how you find your way back.

If you’ve ever sat out an injury and wondered whether you’d be the same player again, read this essay from Lax Goalie Rat summer intern Gianna Lemieux. Gianna plays attack in women’s lacrosse but her story is applicable to young athletes in all positions.

Enter Gianna Lemieux

When I envisioned my college lacrosse career, I would have never predicted two season ending injuries.

Everything changed in an instant. I still remember lying helplessly on the field not being able to move my shoulder.

And just when I thought I fully rehabbed my shoulder, it happened again.

My first thought this time was, I am done. I need surgery. I can’t play for months. My season is over… again.

These two injuries brought me into a two year mental battle with myself

While I was healing my physical pain, my mental pain got worse. Not knowing if I would ever be the same player that I was ever again. Seeing my teammates have so much success, I wish I was able to be like them. The past two years taught me resilience.

My Story

I came into college knowing I would have to earn my playing time.

During my freshman season, I appeared in nine games and made the most of every opportunity I was given. Near the end of the season, everything changed. A collision during a game caused my shoulder to dislocate ending my season early.

After months of physical therapy, I returned stronger and more confident than ever.

I believed my sophomore season would finally be the year I proved myself. Instead, just four games into the season, my shoulder dislocated again during practice.

This time, the damage was much worse. I tore my labrum completely, needed surgery, and took a medical redshirt.

In less than two years, I went from fighting for playing time to spending months watching from the sidelines. The physical recovery was difficult, but the mental recovery became an even bigger challenge.

The Mental Battle Nobody Sees

During recovery, most people only see the physical battle. What they don’t see is the mental battle you fight every day.

The one you often face alone.

Almost everyday was a challenge. Some days I felt as if I made no progress, and that took a toll on me mentally. I was doing physical therapy almost every single day, yet for three months I could barely move my arm.

Over the summer I couldn’t run, lift, or train for lacrosse. During that time, I felt lost.

The summer had always been the season when I pushed myself and prepared for the upcoming season. Instead, I felt like I was at square one.

Losing Confidence and Questioning Myself

During my recovery, I lost all my confidence.

I was wondering if I would ever be the same player again. My shoulder felt different, and I convinced myself that because of my injury, I would never be able to do the things other athletes could. I constantly questioned whether I would ever be the same player again.

There were days when I completely broke down because I was terrified of returning. I wasn’t afraid of the pain, but that I wouldn’t be able to handle the sport mentally anymore.

I wondered if I would even see the field during my junior year. I knew I had to earn my spot just like everyone else, but recovering from a major injury made that challenge feel even greater

Mental can take longer than physical

The hardest part of my recovery wasn’t healing my shoulder; it was learning to believe in myself again.

While I was training my shoulder every day, I also had to train my mind.

Eventually I was cleared to play, but getting out of my own head became the hardest part of recovery. I was nervous to dodge, shoot, and play with the same confidence and grit I once had.

I found myself avoiding certain dodges, shots, and physical plays because my mind constantly told me I would get hurt again. Even though my shoulder healed, my fear hadn’t.

Finding Purpose During the Recovery

The biggest lesson I learned throughout my recovery was how to love myself again; not just as an athlete, but as a person.

I realized I am more than a lacrosse player. For so long I had allowed my identity to revolve around the sport, and when I couldn’t play, I felt I lost a part of myself.

Recovery taught me that my value wasn’t determined by how many goals I scored or how much I can contribute on the field.

Small victories

I knew recovery was a marathon, not a sprint. Even though I struggled throughout the process, I made it a goal to find small victories every day.

Celebrating small victories helped me recognize the progress I was making, even when I didn’t feel like I was improving.

I celebrated every milestone, whether it was gaining a little more range of motion in my shoulder, or even being able to put my hair up in a ponytail.

Those moments reminded me that I was improving, even if the progress felt slow.

Turning “Why me” to “How can I grow from this”

There came a point when I told myself to stop dwelling on what had happened. Once I accepted that I couldn’t change the past, my mindset completely changed.

We all face challenges throughout our lives, and while they can be incredibly difficult to endure, they also give us the opportunity to grow stronger.

During my recovery I grew as a person, I learned that I can handle difficult situations, strengthen my mindset, and become mentally stronger than ever thought possible.

My Comeback: A New Appreciation For the Game

When I got cleared to play, I knew it was going to be challenging, but during this I found my worth, confidence, and appreciation for everything around me.

The Return

The return to lacrosse was not easy, I was cleared in January, and our first game was only a month later in February. Even though I had been waiting for that moment for months, I quickly realized that being physically cleared didn’t mean I was mentally ready.

I gave myself a lot of grace as I came back to playing. I hadn’t played since March, so I felt like I had to relearn the game and trust my shoulder again. Every movement came with a lot of fear, but I didn’t let that stop me.

Some days were harder than others, but I reminded myself that recovery didn’t end when I was cleared to play. Every practice I gained more confidence, which eventually led me to our first game of the season.

First Game Back

Putting on my jersey for the first time in nine months was one of the best feelings in the world. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was truly part of my team again, and I was grateful to just be able to dress for the game

As the game started, I kept telling myself it would be okay if I didn’t play because I was still recovering. Then my coach looked at me and asked if I was ready to go in.

I finally stepped back on the field for the first time in nine months. I was overwhelmed with emotion and felt like I was on cloud nine.

As my teammates cheered for me, all the anxiety and fear I had carried throughout my recovery disappeared. At that moment, I wasn’t thinking about my injury anymore.

I was just playing the game I loved.

I felt confident playing that day, and I even recorded my first assist in over a year. It reminded me that I was capable of contributing again.

Even though I didn’t play many minutes that game, that moment on the field meant more to me than any game I had played before my injury.

We ended up winning that game on a last second goal. For the first time in nine months, I wasn’t watching from the sidelines and I was a part of that win.

Appreciating Everything Perspective

Throughout the season,  I still had difficult mental days, but everyday I reminded myself to enjoy the experience. I had waited nine months to be back on the field, so I refused to let pressure take away the joy of me playing again.

Even when I didn’t play much or fill up the stat sheet, I reminded myself that I was healthy again. After everything I had endured, simply being able to compete was something I never wanted to take for granted.

I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone. I was just thankful for being healthy and standing beside my best friends, who are also my teammates. Every day, I made the most of every opportunity I was given.

We ended up making history by winning our conference championship earning a spot in the NCAA tournament. Winning our conference championship at home, surrounded by our families, friends, and school community made the moment even more special. After everything I had been through, being able to celebrate that accomplishment with my teammates meant the world to me.

This season made me appreciate the journey I endured physically and mentally.

Lessons Learned

My two-year injury journey taught me more than lacrosse ever had. While I lost two seasons on the field, I gained lessons that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

I learned that the mental side of recovery is just as important as the physical side.

Your body may heal, but rebuilding your confidence, trusting yourself again, and overcoming self-doubt can take even longer.

Your worth is not defined by how much you play or how well you perform.

As athletes, it’s easy to tie our identity to our sport, but you need to put yourself first.

Recovery is never a straight line. Recovery is a roller coaster.

There will be setbacks, frustration, and days when it feels like you’re making no progress at all.

If you continue to trust the process and refuse to give up, you will eventually reach the other side.

Sometimes your biggest comeback isn’t just returning to the field—it’s believing in yourself again.

Conclusion

Gianna’s comeback ended with a conference championship, but that’s not really the point of her story — the rebuilding is.

If you’re currently sidelined or just grinding through a rough stretch mentally, remember that the physical recovery is only half the work.

Give yourself the same grace she gave herself, and trust the process even on the days it doesn’t feel like it’s working. Been through your own comeback?

We’d love to hear about it — send it our way or tag us @laxgoalierat.

Until next time, Coach Damon